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i am a night person. i love silence maybe because i am loud and me being loud may be because i have so much to cry for and i don't want to think about them. i don't want to wallow on things that will put me down. but tonight i feel the emptiness when he said goodnight. i still want him to keep me company but i can't ask him to do it for me. i have been feeling this emptiness for the past few days because i know i am looking for something that is not easy to have. i beginning to hate holidays because i don't want to miss anyone special in my life and longing for them is sad. i don't wanna be sad. 

all i have prayed for and wanted every hour of my day is to be happy so i can share that happiness to others. its not easy to pretend in the real world. i pray that tonight, God will bless me with faith, courage and wisdom to surpass this test.